Oh, joy.

Google’s I/O conference is next week, and we expect to hear a lot about the company’s AI endeavors. The company says there’s so much to talk about that it’s spilling the Android beans a little early, and yes, a lot of AI is involved. In the coming months, Google will roll out more smartphone AI features under the Gemini Intelligence banner, bringing more automation and customization to your phone.

App automation will be a major element of Android going forward, Google says. Automation for apps is expanding after Google began testing it earlier in 2026 with DoorDash and Uber on Pixel and Samsung phones. It was a very frustrating experience at launch, but Google says it has spent the intervening months fine-tuning the system.

Google promises that Android will be able to handle more complex automations across apps. For example, the robot could find a course syllabus in Gmail and then hop to a shopping app to add the necessary books to your shopping cart. Google also suggests taking a picture of a travel brochure and telling Gemini to book something similar in the Expedia app.

I’ve yet to find a reason I’d want my apps talking to each other, let alone unsupervised.

But the more basic issue is that agentic “AI” isn’t fit for purpose.

So, I have a follow-up appointment for how my dentures are fitting. Would it be cool to just say “appointment at 1 p.m. at this location in two weeks” and have it arrange the rideshares so I don’t need to remember anything?

Sure, it would. Kinda creepy, but cool nonetheless. A couple of issues here:

• I generally use Lyft, and outside of trips to the airport, I’ve learned that booking in advance is always far more expensive than the spot price (YMMV). Atop this, I usually get a beg notification offer by looking into pricing about 15 minutes before my planned need to book. Put it all together, and I can end up paying fully 75% more than I needed to. That’s the last thing I want Gemini automating for me.

• It’s a fucking medical appointment. Divining when I’ll need to be picked up is a fool’s errand, no matter what I blocked out for it in my calendar. Unless you plan on closing down a bar, this applies similarly.

So, I’ll get the guaranteed highest price with no flexibility for reality, and this is an improvement?

And you want me to use this to book larger travel plans? Highest airfare, highest hotel rate? Reservations at a Michelin restaurant because we happen to have traveled there for our anniversary, but between the outrageous airfare and usurious hotel rate, ain’t no one got the money for a $120 steak.