

seven Israeli soldiers, in case you didn’t click.
polite leftists make more leftists
more leftists make revolution
seven Israeli soldiers, in case you didn’t click.
It’s full of random shit I put in as a joke, but here it is. You can use please -s
to get lightly roasted when your command fails.
#!/bin/bash
# announces success or failure of task
if ! command -v "spd-say" > /dev/null
then
echo "spd-say must be installed."
exit -1
fi
VOLUME=0
SERIOUS=1
FINISH_ONLY=0
if [ $# -ge 2 ]
then
if [ $1 == "-i" ]
then
# parse volume from command line
VOLUME=$2
shift 2
fi
fi
spd-say -C
# force stop speech synthesizer
killall -q speech-dispatcher
# androgynous voice
# __sayfn="spd-say -i -80 -t female3"
# deep voice
__sayfn="spd-say -i $VOLUME -r -10 -p -100 -t male3"
function _sayfn {
$__sayfn "$@" 2>/dev/null
if [ $? -ne 0 ]
then
$__sayfn "$@"
fi
}
if [ $# -eq 0 ] || [ "$1" == "--help" ]
then
_sayfn "Directive required."
echo "Usage: please [-i volume] [-s|--serious] [-f|--finish] <command...>"
echo " please [-i volume] --say text"
echo " -i: volume in range -100 to +100"
echo " --serious, -s: no silliness. Serious only. (Just kidding.)"
echo " --finish, -f: do not announce start"
exit -2
fi
# threading issue
sleep 0.001
if [ $# -ge 2 ]
then
if [ $1 == "--say" ]
then
# _sayfn the given line
shift 1
_sayfn "$@"
exit 0
fi
if [ $1 == "--serious" ] || [ $1 == "-s" ]
then
shift 1
SERIOUS=0
fi
if [ $1 == "--finish" ] || [ $1 == "-f" ]
then
shift 1
FINISH_ONLY=1
fi
fi
i=$(shuf -n1 -e "." "!") # inflection on voice
if [ "$FINISH_ONLY" -eq 0 ]
then
if [ "$SERIOUS" -eq 0 ]
then
# startup lines (randomized for character)
_sayfn -r -5 -x ".<break time=\"60ms\"/>$(shuf -n1 -e \
'Proceeding As Directed...' \
'By your command...' \
'By your command...' \
'By the power ov greyskaall!' \
'By your command,line...' \
'As you wish...' \
'Stand by.' \
'Engaged...' \
'Initializing...' \
'Activating' \
'At once!' \
"Post Haste$i" \
'it shall be done immediately' \
'Very well.' \
'It shall be so.' \
"righty-o$i" \
"Affirmative$i" \
"Acknowledged$i" \
"Confirmed$i" \
)"
else
_sayfn -r -5 -x ".<break time=\"60ms\"/>Engaged..."
fi
if [ $? -ne 0 ]
then
_sayfn "Speech engine failure."
echo "Failed to run speech engine. Cancelling task."
exit -3
fi
fi
if ! command -v "$1" > /dev/null
then
# _sayfn a little faster because this exits fast.
_sayfn -r +10 "Unable to comply? invalid command."
>&2 echo "$1: command not found."
exit -4
fi
eval " $@"
result=$?
i=$(shuf -n1 -e "," "!" "?") # inflection on voice
transition=$(shuf -n1 -e "; error" ", with error" "; status")
taskname=$(shuf -n1 -e "task" "task" "command" "objective" "mission" "procedure" "routine")
errtext=$(shuf -n1 -e "Task_failed" "Task_failed" "Task_resulted_in_failure" "Procedure_terminated_in_an_error" "An_error_has_occurred" "Auxilliary_system_failure" "system_failure")
consolation=$(shuf -n1 -e "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Attention required." "Attention is required!" "Perhaps It was inevitable." "It may or may not be cause for alarm." "Perhaps Machines too, are fallible." "Apologies" "Hopefully nobody else was watching" "shazbot" "maybe next time." "Nobody could have predicted this outcome." "I'm very sorry." "how unfortunate." "remember: don't panic" "oh dear" "Nothing could have been done to prevent this" "Remember: No disasters are fully preventable" "perhaps the only winning move is not to play" "Remember: Failure is our teacher, not our undertaker." "Remember: If at first you don't succeed... try again." "Remember: If at first you don't succeed... try... try again." "But your friends still love you." "Remember: the machine is not your enemy." "Command?" "Awaiting further instructions." "Remember: Logic is the beginning of wisdom... not the end of it." "Remember: When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." "Keep at it. Victory is within reach." "Remember: The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same." "Now, while this could have gone better, it could also have gone much worse." "Remember: we do this not because it is easy, but because we thought it was going to be easy." "Don't give up." "It has now been... -- zero... -- days, since the last serious failure." "Remember: instead of documenting the problem, you can fix it." "Remember: Artificial intelligence is no match for artificial stupidity." "Standing by," "Remember: with every failure, we get closer to success." "We live in a society." "sometimes failure is not an option; it's a necessity." "Keep at it." "Remember: mistakes are just the first step on the road to failure... <break time=\"250ms\"/> I mean success." "Don't leave. The drones need you... <break time=\"350ms\"/> They look up to you." "Try again, for great justice." "fantastic" "brilliant" "did you really think that would work?")
if [ $SERIOUS -eq 0 ]
then
# perhaps some silliness.
if [ $result -eq 0 ]
then
_sayfn --wait "$(shuf -n1 -e \
"$taskname complete. All systems nominal" \
"$taskname completed successfully." \
"$taskname resulted in success." \
"$taskname yielded a successful result." \
"$taskname concluded successfully." \
"$taskname completed as instructed." \
"Jobs done." \
)" &
else
if [ $result -eq 1 ]
then
_sayfn -x --wait "$(shuf -n1 -e \
"Alert$i Primary system failure. Attention is required." \
"Alert$i System failure$i Attention required! $consolation" \
"Alert$i $taskname resulted in failure! <break time=\"150ms\"/> $consolation" \
"Alert$i $taskname was not completed as intended; $consolation" \
"Alert$i An error has occurred! <break time=\"220ms\"/> $consolation" \
)" &
else
_sayfn --wait -x "Alert$i $errtext$transition code $result! <break time=\"350ms\"/> $consolation" &
fi
fi
else
# no silliness here.
if [ $result -eq 0 ]
then
_sayfn --wait "Command complete."
else
if [ $result -eq 1 ]
then
_sayfn -x --wait "Alert. Command failed; error code $result!"
fi
fi
fi
exit $result
were their husbands safe at least
I wrote a script called please
. You input please
followed by any other command (e.g. please git clone
, please wget blahblah
) and a robotic voice will say “affirmative,” then the command will run, and when it completes, the robotic voice reads out the exit code (e.g. “completed successfully” or “failed with status 1” etc.)
This is useful for when you have a command that takes a long time and you want to be alerted when it’s finished. And it’s a gentleman.
Yeah, good point. I’m with you.
Headline writers believe there are two genders: pilots and female pilots.
can you explain the problem?
it’s beyond me how people can feel bad for one but not the other. Feeling bad for neither or both, that I can understand.
I don’t see how what you said is inconsistent with me saying “self” is special in lua. Note that I did not say it’s a keyword.
Lua might have been a better choice, since self
is special in lua.
Fair enough about America and Canada. Still, I think the Israeli are perfectly aware that they could become part of Palestine. They just don’t seem to want that. Honestly, trying to convince the Israeli people to go for this option seems rather Liberal-minded to me – liberal democracy! Just vote!
“river to the sea”
RttS is a prediction, or a call to action. It is a slogan used by both sides, to mean freedom in one case or manifest destiny in the other.
What Israel has a right to do is not relevant. America has the right to become part of Canada. Israel remaining as it is is the problem – and more to the point, the problem is that people don’t see that as the problem.
Good point. Still, “not having the right to exist” sounds to me – and more importantly, to those undecided on the issue – like it’s encouraging the destruction of the things that are in Israel, not the entity of Israel itself. Which is obviously not a take that’s likely to attract support.
Generally I’m not interested in what Israel as the right to become. I would rather “Israel doesn’t have the right to not be Palestine” (phrased better, perhaps?)
I wonder if we can find a new way of describing the notion of “Israel existing.” It seems opponents believe we mean killing the occupants of Israel or (somehow removing the area entirely) rather than reforging the state itself. It’s not like we don’t want the geographical region to continue existing.
assuming holocaust=genocide, then this is not the second. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_genocides
the UN doesn’t have the ability to. If only it had more power.
I think it’s a good way to remind you right up front when you sign up that this is what you’re signing up for. Honestly if last week I had been asked to choose between a world in which facebook makes its invasiveness painfully clear at signup vs keeps it low-key, I would choose the former.
I feel bad about everything.
This is not really the invasion of privacy it seems when you compare it to everything else facebook will do with your information.
“Only about 40% of the Cruz woke science database is woke science” - (a critique by somebody who’s anti-woke.)