Ann Archy

We really miss you guys. I say that just to be nice, but still.

The Big Five Oh

Listen, I get where you’re coming from don’t get me wrong, what I meant was, back in the 80’s, if you had a complaint, you had a number to an office, and the person answering was responsible for the content of the conversation, you know?

Now, as I see it, we’ve been kind of outsourced to take each others shit without having any real power. I don’t know maybe that’s trite, like obvious, you call a support center and get connected to India, know what I mean? They just offloaded their responsibility on the consumer, of which the employees most certainly are- we’re all just consumers in the end. My 5c, also, apologies for any gangster lingo, I’m fuck white, I’ve just been watching a LOT of YouTube videos.

Yeah I know, I should have worded myself less aggressively.

Are you saying things were better before? Because I feel like things have never been better! I’m a CEO of a F500 company though.

Isn’t GitHub Microsoft owned now? Or am I missing something?

If you dig just below the surface, you will find that the very philosophical concept of “ownership” comes with terms and conditions.

Hell’s Angels? Because it feels like everything works with Hell’s Angels now.

They didn’t just pit us against each other through populist politics, they also hired us to fight one another.

It’s pretty impressive in its darkness.

What do you call supersized legos all painted black?

Big black blocks.

Hey, also, just btw, as an aside, apropos…

If you use “smart devices” in your home, you’re a fucking moron.

MY ECONOMIC HARM!

Capitalism is the single most reasonable and best type of best typing creating system. It is very reasonable, it could be even more reasonable than it already is, but too much reasonablenes is bad becuase uh competing in games is what brings out the best in people and everybody knows it, capitalism has been increasing the amount of increasing amounts very efficiently so that everybody got richer, that’s the best part the more everybody tries to take away as most money from everybody else is a great idea because if everything is improved then EVERYTHING is improved! I win, you win everybody wins all the time in capitalism, that’s why when i sell things to you and take your money then you also made more money and it is compounding, it is very easy to see because it is every year removing more inflation and it is so efficient now that next year the inftlation will also be even everything since we all agreed that it was a great idea to let optimize human emotions by only using the two best ones, in accordance with exactly what is said in the Big Book of Capitalism that everyone has at home and has read, the fact that it is so incredibly well defined and clear about the simplicity, like the bible, but better, because better, is why it is so efficient!

BEST EMOTIONS (for capitalism): GREED: WANTING AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE OF EVERYTHING REGARDLESS WHAT IT IS FOREVER AND REGARDLESS WHAT ONE HAS (1 GOOD = GOOD 2 GOOD=GOODGOOD (1 = 1, 2= 2, 1<2 QED)

STRIFE: IF WE FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER FOREVER, THEN NOBODY WILL EVER WIN BECAUSE EVERYONE BECOMES BETTER EVERY TIME AND THIS MAKES EVERYBODY EQUAL

GREED+STRIFE=I WILL FIGHT YOU FOREVER TO TAKE AS MUCH AS I CAN FROM YOU FOREVER AND THAT WILL MAKE ME EVEN BETTER ATT FIGHTING YOU AND GET EVEN BETTER FOREVER

As opposed to DUMB-DOH-CRAzY (amirite i am reit all who like capitalism subscribe more is better for everything otherwise the word wouldn’t be called “BETTER” and “MORE FASTER” but the other way around doooooh) that uses only the worst least money making emotions that science has shown is more worthlessler than even no money! The best emotions are greed and competition and the only ones necessary to run a planet, everyone has known that since they began to planet, the most socially advantageous human emotions in history of emotions, this is universally agreed upon by science and my looking out the window. Out of all of the human emotions that humans have emotioned, those two are much more efficient at increasing the amount of capitalism increases. Maybe we should improve capitalism, by maybe also introducing hatred and violent tendencies, this might increase everybodys money so much that the amount of money we all get so much more of, just keeps staying exactly mostly optimized evertim!

Producing more selling also would be good. Can we produce capitalism and sell? The product will sell itself, because of its inherent efficiency and always coming up with the best type of society, and since capitalism obviously is the perfect answer,it must be selling itself an run basically every facet of society and replace most of the moral discourse part of history from around hm -84 and is the single to replace them. I also loved that we decided to value everything else with money as well, and now that it is the only thing that matters, and we stand before a system collapse of ecology, society, humanity, fuck it just burn it. Money is the single most efficient system of any kind of system that has ever been invented, and it can be used for everything! From measuring how much you have earned in relation to others, and if more, then that means that you are a better person and citizen, and should get more power over how we run things, it’s very fair to everyone, and makes the most competent people, the experts of everything. Oh sorry I forgot, the thing where a system of running absolutely fucking everything EVERYTHING is money, and if one nation fails to beat their own record from last year, then every other country has more to make even more with the other more they had and so now you are punished for being the worst least more than last most countries, which is backwards. Morally. You made your nation, a worse place, by not making your nation a better then than you could have improved it, and must be punished because you are messing with the whole world’s money-record to make more money every year than earned slightly less than the other nations, less best more best than last bests mosts mosts per year than last year.

The best part was when everyone was like, yeaaahs! The most ruthless people who can “IMPROVE” the planet in an even besterer bestest mostest ways, then they can get a bonus so they get a bonus bonus to their bonus bonus bonus. And this is great. This is exactly the way it should work, AND it’s easily observable. Look! Is the world not a even more fantasticarally fantastical fantasyland than the other year when the world got slightly less more awesome and better which sucks, so now I can’t affort food, rent or medicines, and buy all the fantastict things that capitalism has improved better and cheaper somethow, than any other system has ever been able to improve as MUCH MOSTER PER THE BEST of the BEST year holy shit I love this planet and humanity it was true! Capitalism makes EVERYTHING BETTER, FOR EVERYONE, FOREVER, AND IT ONLY MAKES EVEN BETTERER BETTEREREST THAN BETTERESTESTISTASTET!

I can almost not handle the paradise it has created like it promised, and since I and everyone can see, that it was not a scam to take everything away from everyone, and giving it to the one guy BEST one, and improve democracy so much , that we might as well just get rid of democracy and use capitalism, it will always make the besterest improvemenst of everything.

Toothbrushes are my favorite thing that got only forever got better than slightly less better than how much better this years tootbrushes became. I don’t even brush my teeth anymore, my toothbrush went to work instead of me, and believe you this- my toothbrush just got the bestest superbestest increase of perfection then all the other times,

One last thing, have you realized how much capitalism has improved the amount of capitalism one can build? Its’ pretty clever, capitalism first destroys everything underneath, say, South America, and then effectivizes the previous lack of extra space for even MORE capitalism. I have actually stopped eating. I don’t need food. I eat only capitalism now, and more and more per day than the morest days of my old bad food days.

Edit: I refuse to even proof read that. But I’m sure it more or less summarizes some of the best parts with capitalism, there are more of course, because capitalism aslo always improves itself the most first, every year, forever. Good night.

Well that’s to keep it fair and balanced, so that the unfair and unbalanced also have their voices heard.

Like the planet has been “verging” on a climate catastrophe for a century. Just keep it verging like that, and we’ll all be ok!

“Oil Magnate Claims Oil Cures Cancer, Grants Superpowers”

I’d rather live in a cave for free than sign my life over in servitude for a damp basement closet in the middle of a dystopian toxic shithole. Like, by far.

Heeey! They also rely on slavery.

And I can’t believe Idi Amin was King of Scotland! But I mean he said he was, so, who am I to question the king?

23 year old virgin who bought his academic credentials with a credit card decides to chip in on the future of planet! Planet decides to run with it.