You open a program for work… and suddenly it doesn’t work.

So you tell your supervisor.

They tell you to call the help desk.

You call the help desk… they can’t help.

They tell you to submit a ticket.

You go to submit a ticket… but first you have to create an account.

To create the account, you have to link your work ID.

To link your work ID, you need your phone for a code.

Then it makes you create a new password (not your usual one, obviously).

Then you have to verify your email.

You wait… finally get it… click the link…

…and it makes you log in again.

And grab your phone again. Another code.

Finally—you’re in.

Now you fill out the ticket, using that random username you were given on day one and told never to lose.

You submit it.

It says: “Pending supervisor approval.”

Your supervisor calls:

“Why did you submit this?”

So now you explain everything…

and walk them through it… step by step… because they don’t understand any of it.

They approve it.

You get an email:

“This will take up to 4 days.”

You need it done tomorrow.

So now you ask who to escalate to.

Your supervisor asks their boss.

Their boss asks someone else.

Eventually, a VP gets involved.

They tell you to contact a guy—Mr. Patel.

You call Mr. Patel.

He asks a million questions.

Eventually he realizes:

“This broke after a Windows update.”

So now he has to talk to his boss.

Meanwhile, your boss keeps asking:

“What’s taking so long?”

You explain… again.

You go to lunch.

Come back—Mr. Patel messaged you 5 minutes after you left:

“Call me.”

You call him. Voicemail.

He calls you back an hour later (because he was “in a meeting”).

He says:

“You need a new computer. That’ll take 5 days.”

Your boss’s boss is now on your case because only you can do this one task.

You ask if there’s another way.

“No.”

Now your supervisor tells their boss, who tells their boss…

and suddenly the VP calls you directly.

You explain everything again (for the 4th time).

He makes one phone call.

Suddenly—you have admin access.

You fix the issue in 5 minutes.

It’s now 6 PM.

You spent all day waiting, escalating, and explaining…

…and the thing you fixed?

Didn’t even matter—because the other team never showed up anyway.

  • 👍Maximum Derek👍@discuss.tchncs.de
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    4 hours ago

    I’m the VP who actually knows how the things work. So after I solve your problem I:

    Write the instructions in an email for the 4th time and send it to everyone involved (your name was probably in CC list, sorry about that)

    Double check the internal documentation and add a bit about windows update going rogue

    Notice the logs say I’m the only person to ever look at this doc

    Send a second email about reading our documentation (now you’re also in the BCC list too somehow, sorry about that)

    Get a text from my wife to see if I’ve left work yet

    Email our Microsoft rep and CC IT to chastise them about the update but also to see if this violates our SLA so we can get some credits

    Check on the status of the SSO epic, since none of this would have happened if that had gotten finished in Q1 '22 like it was supposed to

    See no one has been assigned to any tickets in that epic since the last time something like this happened 15 months ago

    Spend 10 minutes daydreaming about opening a bike rental shop in Amsterdam

    Email the DoE about making sure the SSO epic ends up as an OKR in Q3