I can’t speak to women’s experiences, but as a man, it was pretty clear that these apps were dogshit designed to steal information while keeping you engaged with bots so they can further steal from you, including financially. Much like Facebook, I was an early rejector of dating apps, and I’ve been proven correct on both fronts. From what I can tell, the tech has only gotten better at taking advantage of lonely/stupid men. While dating isn’t really a concern for me anymore, when I was actively dating, it was never difficult to meet women. It just requires a willingness to be open and accept rejection. Also, be willing to cut off interaction for relationships that aren’t healthy. It’s better to be alone than in a shitty relationship.
it was pretty clear that these apps were dogshit designed to steal information while keeping you engaged with bots
They haven’t always been, though. I remember the good old times of okcupid - they had a system of interests you could enter and then they linked those interests to all of the users in their database. It was so effective to find people listening to the same music, playing the same games…
They removed the whole thing after they got bought out, removing one of the biggest features that made the platform unique. It explains why there are still a lot of people around recommending platforms like Tinder and okcupid, they remember their positive experiences and maybe even found a partner. But those times are long over.
The worst enshittification is making male people pay for replying to messages. That is just vile.
That’s fair. I may generally be a bit over suspicious at times, but the apps definitely struck me as off very early on. As to charging men, while it does suck, I get it. It similar to “ladies’ night” at clubs (do they still do that?). It isn’t hard to get men in the door, but it is significantly harder to get women to attend, oftentimes due to some of the behaviors exhibited by the men. With the gender differences on app usage, it would likely drive that disparity even higher if they charged women.
Bubble wasn’t around when I last engaged with dating apps, though I wouldn’t give any app the benefit of the doubt, including in any conceivable future. While there are exceptions to the rule, as you mentioned, I’d say most people will be better off without dating apps, with or without a partner.
I can’t speak to women’s experiences, but as a man, it was pretty clear that these apps were dogshit designed to steal information while keeping you engaged with bots so they can further steal from you, including financially. Much like Facebook, I was an early rejector of dating apps, and I’ve been proven correct on both fronts. From what I can tell, the tech has only gotten better at taking advantage of lonely/stupid men. While dating isn’t really a concern for me anymore, when I was actively dating, it was never difficult to meet women. It just requires a willingness to be open and accept rejection. Also, be willing to cut off interaction for relationships that aren’t healthy. It’s better to be alone than in a shitty relationship.
They haven’t always been, though. I remember the good old times of okcupid - they had a system of interests you could enter and then they linked those interests to all of the users in their database. It was so effective to find people listening to the same music, playing the same games…
They removed the whole thing after they got bought out, removing one of the biggest features that made the platform unique. It explains why there are still a lot of people around recommending platforms like Tinder and okcupid, they remember their positive experiences and maybe even found a partner. But those times are long over.
The worst enshittification is making male people pay for replying to messages. That is just vile.
That’s fair. I may generally be a bit over suspicious at times, but the apps definitely struck me as off very early on. As to charging men, while it does suck, I get it. It similar to “ladies’ night” at clubs (do they still do that?). It isn’t hard to get men in the door, but it is significantly harder to get women to attend, oftentimes due to some of the behaviors exhibited by the men. With the gender differences on app usage, it would likely drive that disparity even higher if they charged women.
I know of several couples that have got married and met on bumble. Surely the exception to the rule, agree that Tinder is a complete spyware app.
Bubble wasn’t around when I last engaged with dating apps, though I wouldn’t give any app the benefit of the doubt, including in any conceivable future. While there are exceptions to the rule, as you mentioned, I’d say most people will be better off without dating apps, with or without a partner.