Somewhere between building nuclear fusion reactors and decoding the human genome, humanity paused... and decided that peeing shouldn’t be a messy ordeal. Enter the Nautilus urinal: a piece of plumbing so thoughtfully engineered that it makes the 100-year-old standard look like a cruel prank played on pants and public floors everywhere. Scientists at the University
they are seriously underestimating my capabilities, as well as the efficacy of my laundromat and determination of the drunken hobos who live there.
They measure the angular degree of the appliance but I’ll wager a testicle they still have not tackled the more critical issue of the degree in temperature of cold porcelain. As I’m sure most men living anywhere with a latitude bigger than 45° can relate, there is nothing worse than having to chip onesself free on a cold night in the dead of winter.
Wait a sec, are you telling me your pee stream froze and you got stuck to the urinal!?!?