a language with all the good parts of something like assembly, and without all the bad parts of more modern, complex, and “safe” languages.

One major rule for designed functionality is simplicity. The second you add another rule, the amount of things that can happen grows immensely. And that only scales worse the farther you go. The simpler something is, the easier it is to be intimately familiar with it. Which is what allows people to make proper use of something.